The Humor Pages:
A Bunch of Short Jokes
* If you play tennis in tennis shoes, swim in a swim suit, and run in running shoes,
what do you do in a windbreaker?
* (Q) What's big and fast and yellow and funny as hell? (A) A bus load of
lawyers going over a cliff. (Q) What's a crying shame? (A) The driver wasn't a
lawyer too and there was one seat empty.
* Your mama's so fat that when she went to the beach,
greenpeace tried to roll her back into the water.
* What is the difference between a pit bull and a woman with PMS? ... Lip
Gloss.
* Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years? A: Because even back
then men wouldn't ask for directions.
* The seven dwarfs were taking a bath and they started to feel sleepy, so he
got out.
* What is the difference between God and a doctor? God doesn't think He's a
doctor.
* What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.
* Two women are standing on a corner in potato sacs. How do you know which one
is the prostitute? The one with the sac that says,
"Idaho."
* Hey have you heard about the new corduroy pillow? I hear it's really making
headlines.
* Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Get out of here. We don't
serve mushrooms." Mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fun guy."
* What is Ross Perot corn? Spicy, with a short stalk and two
big ears.
* Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
* What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Association
* What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness
with a Zen Buddhist? Someone knocking at your door with
nothing to say.
* Why don't Zen Buddhists ever become vacuum salesmen? They can't handle the
attachments.
* How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let her cook in the dark!
* Have you ever smelled moth balls? Really? How did
you get their little legs apart?
